My wife is a social media addict. She's always on her cellphone: texting, tweeting or Facebooking. I am beginning to suspect she is having a online romance
Shrink Rap
Your wife is having a romance, but it may be with social
media rather than with a person. Social media is very captivating and people
tend to invest far more time and energy into social media than they realise.
It offers richness and variety of relationships not
always achievable in your immediate circle. The danger is that it can lead to
inappropriate liaisons and relationships beyond the boundaries of what people
in their regular lives would allow themselves.
The other danger is that people lose themselves, and
their immediate relationships suffer. It is clear why it is hard for an
ordinary person, let alone a stressed, tired or preoccupied spouse, to compete
with the magnetic attraction and demanding nature of social media.
The definition of addiction is something that causes
social or occupational impairment.
You definitely have grounds to confront your wife - but
express it in the form of a loving request that she gives you more time and
attention. - Leonard Carr
Supernanny
In my coaching practice, this topic is a frequent
discussion point. Social media can sap the energy from a significant
relationship.
When we count being in virtual communication as more
important than the people in the room, we are setting up our relationships for
disaster. We did not choose to be in a relationship to then find ourselves in
isolation.
First check on your own behaviour - are you hooked on TV
or some other form of technology? Discuss with your wife how isolated you feel
when she is online. Then come to a compromise on when you can both use
technology. For example, I know many couples who have an agreement to turn off
all phones, tablets and laptops from 7pm.
Prioritising your marital relationship is a great way to
reignite the romance. Plan nights out, read books together, watch a movie, have
friends and family over for a meal. You will quickly find ways to have fun
together if you are united in choosing to turn off the outside world for a
while . - Stephanie Dawson-Cosser
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