Learn These Simple Ways To Spot A Lie

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"You'll be receiving payment within seven days." "I've never stolen from an employer." "All our work has been inspected and certified."

Wouldn't it be nice to know when people are telling you the truth and when they're not? There is a way. Janine Driver spent decades training FBI, CIA, and ATF agents in how to spot lying, and her new book, You Can't Lie to Me, explains how it's done.

"A lot of entrepreneurs get embezzled or taken advantage of," she says. To avoid such a fate, follow these steps to start spotting untruths:

1. Start by observing how the person normally behaves.

Before you try to tell whether someone is lying to you, you have to get a sense of how he or she communicates in a normal, nonstressful conversation. "Talk about the Red Sox, or a friend from elementary school who found you on Facebook," she suggests. You need this baseline, because behavior that might indicate a problem, such as rapidly tapping a foot or using a lot of verbal fillers such as "um" and "well," might simply be this person's normal communication mode.

"When you're building rapport with people, that's when you get their baseline," Driver says. "You need a minimum of three minutes to do it."

2. Listen carefully.

Statement analysis can help you discern when someone isn't telling the truth, Driver says. For instance, if you ask a yes or no question, the answer should actually contain the word yes or no. Watch out for a denial that doesn't include a no.

Let's say you ask, "Have you ever stolen from an employer?" "If the answer is, 'I would never do that,' that could be a signal," Driver says. It's OK if the answer is "No, never," as long as the word no is in there, she adds. But if you think about it, "I would never do that" is a statement about the future, not an answer to your question about the past.

3. Look for "hot spots."

When someone deviates from his or her baseline in a suspicious way, Driver calls it a hot spot--an area to which you should pay close attention. Body language is a good way to find hot spots. Driver uses the children's song "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes" as a way of breaking down observations of someone's body to reveal that person's true feelings. For instance, look at the direction a person's feet or belly button is pointing to get a sense of that person's true interest or intentions, she says. A shoulder shrug indicates uncertainty.

And keep an eye out for facial expressions. An eyebrow "flash," when eyebrows move upward, usually means people like what they've just heard or seen. Pursing or sucking in the lips means the opposite. And if one side of someone's mouth goes up in a half smile, that's a smirk that usually indicates contempt or superiority--an expression Dick Cheney frequently wears, Driver notes. But it can also mean self-satisfaction or pride.

4. Ask follow-up questions.

Just because you have a hot spot doesn't necessarily mean you have a lie, but you do have a good reason to explore further with a few more questions. For example, "Explain this gap in your résumé" leads to the answer, "I was home raising my kids." "People often leak contempt when they're lying," Driver says.

So she recommends asking something like, "I may be wrong, but it seems to me you felt proud when I asked you about that time?" The explanation could be that the applicant took a lot of pride in the time spent being a parent. You won't know unless you ask, and you shouldn't try to be a mind reader.

5. Ask if they're telling the truth.

"The last question you should ask is, 'Did you tell me the truth when you answered all these questions?'" Driver says. "We're looking for a yes or a no." Surprisingly, some people will admit to a small (or large!) lie at this point, and you can get at the truth.

If someone will be in a position of trust and you really need to know whether this person is truthful, you can follow up with a particularly powerful question: "Why should I believe you?"

Here's the tricky part: Whatever answer you get first, don't accept it and ask a second time. "That didn't really answer my question--why should I believe you?"

Listen carefully for the next answer. It should be short, simple, and to the point, something like, 

"Because I've told you the truth." But a liar will tend to overcompensate. This may take the form of getting angry and accusing you of something, such as not wanting to believe even though he or she is telling the truth, or saying he or she doesn't want to do work with you anyway. On the flip side, the liar may overcompensate with a lot of character references. "You can ask anyone I've ever worked for whether I'm honest or not!"

Incidentally, Driver says, when you hear something like that, always take them up on it. "No one ever does," Driver says. "But you're likely to be surprised at what you find out."

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Yahoo

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Liars 8 Most Used Words. Do You Use Them?

It's good to know how to spot the signs he could be telling a whopper. Lie detection expert Janine Driver, author of the new book, You Can't Lie to Me, fills us in on the words that give away a liar.

"Left"
Sure, sometimes 'left' is the only word you can use in a situation, but there's some kind of drama involved when he uses it in place of another word that will do (think: "I left the bar at six" vs. "I went home at six"). It could be due to his desire to "leave" the lie behind.

"Never"
The big thing to look out for is when he says "never" when "no" will do. It's a sign he's overcompensating. For example, if you ask, "Did you just look at that girl's butt?" and he says, "Never!"

"That"
Like never, it depends on how he uses it. If he puts "that" in front of a noun, like "that woman" or "that money," it's a subconscious attempt for him to distance himself from the word. This is a common trick of manipulators.

"Would"
If he skips "no" and goes straight to "I would never do something like that!" when talking about a past event, be wary. For example, "Are you still talking to your ex?" "I would never do that to you!" "Would never" suggests that he plans to do it in the future.

"Yes, ma'am"
If your guy is a Southern gentleman, then this doesn't apply. But if he suddenly says "ma'am" to you out of nowhere, be cautious. It's a sign that he feels like he's feeling stressed and knows he's in trouble.

"By the way…"
Liars use phrases like this to try to minimize what they say next-but usually it's what's most important to the story. Pay extra attention to what he says afterward.

"But"
Liars usually try to downplay what they say with this word, so pay attention when he says something like, "I know this is going to sound strange, but…" or "I know you think I'm lying, but…"

"Why would I do that?"
It's a favorite stalling line of liars, so they can buy a little time to work out what to say next. These phrases also fit the bill: "What kind of person do you think I am?", "Are you calling me a liar?", and "I knew this was going to happen to me!"

Source: Yahoo

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