Hypothetically speaking,
In the last two days, I have slid back into some
unhealthy habits. While I am determined
to cope with my current turmoil in a healthy way (gym workouts by the dozen!) I
am finding that in moments of weakness, old habits are creeping back into my
present. As I see this happening, I
realize how dangerous this trend could be.
I am highly motivated to succeed, and that is a good thing. But apparently right now I also need to be
constantly vigilant about what I do in the moment. Because it is the decisions we make in the
moment that can seriously effect the outcome.
Yes we need to motivate ourselves, fight unhealthy habits with healthy habits. Its not always easy.
So I will practice being present. That is a little tough right now because my
mind wants to wander to the past, to places that gave me comfort, filled me
with laughter, and made me feel alive. Places of healthy living, healthy lifestyle, HEALTHY HABITS. My present consists of a near constant stream
of interventions with my precocious toddler, who has learned to climb chairs
and is using his newly discovered knowledge to literally ascend every surface
of our house. My present consists of
laundry and dirty floors, bathrooms that need scrubbing, homework that needs
doing, biting back comments, holding my tongue, holding back tears, of putting
on my game face and wearing it until the effort has nearly completely exhausted
me. In the middle of all that, I now
need to add: staying vigilant about not
shoving food into my face.
Have I finally succumbed to the slavery of unhealthy living, unhealthy lifestyle, UNHEALTHY HABITS?
The truth is, I can’t stuff down these feelings with
food. I can’t make them softer with ice
cream. I can’t make them less painful if
I eat sweets. If I eat salty food, the
bitterness will still be there, the taste just as acrid in my mouth as it was
before. So there is no point in trying
to eat away these feelings. I have to
feel them, purge them from my system, and learn to let them go and live beyond
them.
So I gotta stay motivated. Supercharge my motivation and resolve to fight unhealthy habits with healthy habits. Instead of talking too much let me think positively too much at least.
So, note to self:
This is the verbal ass kicking you have had coming for a few days
now. This is your reminder to not to
forget the goal. Don’t forget the
reasons behind the journey, don’t forget the progress made so far, and don’t
give up hope – you will get there. You
have the ability, the strength and the passion to get to where you want to
go. You will not wake up every day
feeling the same acute emptiness inside.
That feeling of contentment you are seeking will be found and along with
it, you will find the peace you lack at this moment. No food can fix it, so stop trying to fix it
that way. Get your behind to the gym and
sweat instead of cry, face that task head on, do your home work, get off procrastination diet.
cool
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