The buzz and excitement that surrounds weddings can be quite infectious and women tend to go overboard at the idea or prospect of a wedding. Marriages however, are no mean feat. They require a certain amount of dedication and commitment and this is probably why most guys are a little more less enthusiastic when it comes to the whole wedding thing. They tend to have a more overall sense of restraint when it comes to these matters.
BN decided to take a closer look at guys who took this huge step and why they did. They talked about their courtship and why they took the decision to spend the rest of their lives with their wives and I got to understand that people get married for very different reasons. We had fun during the interviews and to these awesome guys, I say thank you for sharing your stories.
Babajide & Damilola Familusi
FAMILUSI BABAJIDE, Fashion and Lifestyle Enterpreneur/Publisher FAB Magazine has been married for 3 years.
He dated his wife for 17 months and described the period as “an amazing time getting to know each other as we had opted to bare it all to each other. A mistake intending couples make in this time is that they do not take the time to ask the right questions in a bid to get more insight into the background and experiences of the other party.”
Did you know from the start that you were going to marry her? I did not know but my intention was very clear from the very first day. ‘I am not dating for the fun of it. I am trying to find my wife in you’.
I knew she was the one because of a major revelation into her person that I cannot disclose here but understanding my personality and hers and how they would work amazingly well together was key.
Why did you get married? I got married because I totally believe in God’s word that says in Genesis that ‘it is not good for man to be alone.’ I knew that I needed a partner that I would share my joys, travails, successes with. One who would adopt my vision as hers and be my strength and support in my weak areas.
What is the difference between your life as a bachelor and as a married man? The fact that you have an additional being to care for and love unconditionally totally changes your activities as family and time spent with family becomes increasingly important.
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Deji & Ese Falae
Deji Falae, a lawyer, politician and public officer in the service of the Ondo State Government has been married for 13 years
How did you meet your wife?
My wife and I were introduced by a mutual friend while she was an undergraduate in the University of Lagos in 1993 and I was a Youth Corper.
When did you know she was The ONE?
After the first date I was pretty sure I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her even though she wasn’t so sure about my intentions. She was very beautiful and had a comfortable “girl next door” appeal that I couldn’t resist.
Why did you get married?
Because I was and still am in love with her and everyone should have a companion to share the odyssey of life with.
What has changed for you since you got married?
Many things have changed, for one I’ve learnt to think in plural terms rather than singular which helps me to focus on the important things in life and for another I’ve learnt patience.
Tell us one thing you discovered since you got married that you wish someone had told you before now?
That’s a difficult one cos there are many things that one wishes one knew before getting married but I guess one that stands out is that women analyse situations differently from men, they tend to be more emotional and most men had to learn this from experience.
Where would you like to be stuck with alone with your wife?
Many places I guess but a picturesque island like Tahiti would be nice.
Taiwo & Chiz Peters
Taiwo Peters is a Lagos based lawyer who is a father of two has been married for 5 yrs.
How did you meet your wife?
Chiz and I were introduced at a mutual friend’s get together in July 2003. Our friend was going through a match-making phase and decided she would pair up her different friends. I don’t usually go for such things but I decided to humour her nonetheless. I was actually supposed to meet another friend of hers but she never showed, likewise for Chiz (thank God!). So, we were both on the “waiting table” and we started talking and before you knew it, it was time for everyone to go. Because of how we met and how stubborn I could be, I immediately told myself that I wasn’t going to follow it up but as soon as I got home, I found myself sending a text message to make sure she was okay (or so I told myself).
When did you know she was The ONE?
The truth is that Chiz struck a chord with me from day one but I knew she was “the one” precisely two weeks after we started dating on the 12th of January, 2004. I actually sent her a text telling her how I felt (I told her I loved her) and she was kind enough not to laugh in my face when next we saw. Needless to say, she put that bold statement to the test till I earned her trust and confidence.
Why did you get married?
I got married because quite frankly I was sick and tired of dropping her back home at her parent’s house. Whenever it was time for her to go home, we would always quarrel (which was a sneaky way to get more time with her; half bread and all that) and she would always end up getting home late. But more than that, I knew 100 per cent that I could never ever find someone as loving, funny, intelligent, hard-working, stylish, classy, sexy, God-fearing (to name just a few of her qualities) if I tried. In addition, she is as real as they come and does not have one pretentious bone in her body. Finally, I knew how much I needed her in my life. I don’t need many people in my life outside my family and close friends and I wasn’t particularly looking to add to my list, but knew I needed this lady.
What has changed for you since you got married?
Well, she doesn’t go home anymore for a start! So that is great (especially when we argue!). Apart from that nothing else has really changed. I knew two weeks after we started dating that I would spend the rest of my life with her (if she would have me) and I treated her like my wife in every ramification. We dated for four years before we got married, so there was little that could change apart from the “license” from God to “do and undo”. We have been blessed with two children so we are grateful to God that we have responsibly put that license to good use.
Tell us one thing you discovered since you got married that you wish someone had told you before now?
I went into marriage with my eyes wide open and with zero childish notions so I cannot say I have been surprised or had a “why didn’t anyone tell me” moment. No matter what, I will always love her and I was fully aware that there would be tough times to go with the good times. We have had our share of both but because we are friends first we always find a way through with God as our foundation.
Where would you like to be stuck with alone with your wife?
The location wouldn’t matter and that’s the God honest truth! We have a blast at home in front of the tv just as well as when we are on vacation abroad. So long as we are together, we would always make the most of where we are. We are partial to the cold though so anywhere with a cool temperature would be excellent.
Akingbemi & Temitope akiode
AKINGBEMI AKIODE, Sales Engineer, Swagelok Nigeria Limited has been married for 9 months.
He dated his wife for 7 years and described the courtship as “a period of knowing ourselves, marked with a lot of ups and downs, fighting and settlements, cracks and amendments, almost calling it quit but we made our way around the situation.”
Did you know from the start that you were going to marry her?
I knew from the start that I wanted to marry her that was the reason for approaching her in the first place, but I wasn’t sure if I will at the end because I didn’t know her too well as to know if she meets my criteria for a wife. This was settled during our courtship period.
Why did you get married? I got married for so many reasons but I will state just a few of them. I knew I had come of age and was ready to move on to the next phase of my life. I knew I love the woman I found because she met my requirements for what I call a wife material. I knew I will amount to a wicked person if I didn’t marry her at the time I did because she was not all together a young lady. I knew I needed a family of my own.
What is the difference between your life as a bachelor and as a married man? I now have someone to account to on how I spent my salary, how my day at work was, how we would raise our children and build our home. I don’t have to worry about what to eat since I now have a good cook as a wife.
Dapo & Tito Olasiyan
Dapo Olasiyan IT professional and full time geek has been married for 10 years
How did you meet your wife?
I actually met here at a party of a friend for the first time but we did not get together till a few years later but was crushing on her from the very first day
When did you know she was The ONE?
There was not a day or minute when it happened but a gradual growing awareness of contentment and happiness. Then it just became known that this is it for me.
Why did you get married?
I am a traditional person and believe in the stable family unit and also decided to show my commitment to her by taking the vows
What has changed for you since you got married?
Not being able to go out with the guys all night anymore! Hahahaha
Jokes apart I guess it made me grow up in some aspects and become more responsible
Tell us one thing you discovered since you got married that you wish someone had told you before now?
That I am not supposed to answer honestly to questions like “how do I look in this?”
Where would you like to be stuck with alone with your wife?
Hawaii!
Taiwo & Gloria Adeleke
TAIWO ADELEKE, Senior Regional Correspondent, NN24 TV has been married for 2 years.
He dated his wife for one year and described his courtship period as “a time when we got to know each other. We talked on the phone all though, I was in Abuja and she was in Adamawa.”
How did you meet your wife?
I met my wife at my friend’s younger sister’s wedding and that was the period I was really praying to God for a life partner.
When did you know she was The ONE? I knew my meeting with her was God’s plan. She was the first and only girl I took home and my parents were so glad to see her and received her with great love.
Why did you get married? I got married because it was the right time, because there was this undying love that surrounds us as a couple. I got married to my ever smiling , gentle, hardworking, mind blowing and God fearing wife, Gloria “Arike” mi because I love her so much and she love me likewise.
What has changed for you since you got married? I have learnt how to love more and show concern for other people’s weaknesses. As a married man, I learn more lessons in taking up challenges no matter how hard the situation may be.
Tell us one thing you discovered since you got married that you wish someone had told you before now? One thing I discovered since I got married is that one must be prepared at all times to handle any difficult challenges that comes with marraige because marraige is not just a bed of roses it is a period that our maturity, patience, trust, faith, love and hardwork are put to test at all times to handle. Union and prayer solve the ones that are beyond our capacity.
Where would you like to be stuck with alone with your wife? I want to get stuck with my wife at a lovely Island in Ghana or South Africa.
What do you guys think? Please share with us. If you are a guy and you’re married tell us what made you take the bold step Why did you decide to take the bold step? And if you are not, tell us about your inhibitions.
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